Some day when I am rich...hahaha yeah like that's ever gonna happen...I'm gonna be poor and called trailer trash for the rest of my life! Anyway someday when I am rich I will not have to worry about my freezing feet, my aching back, and little juicer machines...I'll order my groceries online and pay the delivery guy and extra twenty or 30 bucks for having to bring them to me.
I'm in a bitchy mood tonight...it has taken me weeks and some temper tantrums before finally bitching enough outloud for Ray to have to explain some techincal things to me about udp, wlan, lan, and thcp...ugh. But finally got one of my tricky programs to work, was excited, when it finished what it was doing I went in search of the program it was doing, when I realized I had accidentally deleted it into cyberspace oblivien never to be seen or heard from again! Oh how I wanted to scream! So here I was sitting right here in front of my laptop swearing every few seconds trying not to be loud enough to wake my son but loud enough to make me more angry by the passing seconds, and to get Ray's help again! Once again Ray came to my rescue! I am so glad I married a genius! I know some tech stuff and can help friends view chat clear their browser chat and some other stuff, but when it comes to the hard core stuff, he's my "computer geek guru"! Now I have to remember to not delete the program I want before testing it!
Oh the juicer...wanna see it...I think it's a cute little thing.
After posting last nights blog...I had someone comment on how much of a bitch that I am. Of course I hadn't read it last night because i had gone to bed, it was just after midnight when I finished writing it. She didn't like the way I had stated my opinion on Julie Powell. I may not be eloquent with my stole or prose but I am honest. I will not make things up to get attention, money or fame like she did. It's just a fact, not a statement, she even says so in the first page of her book that she "just made stuff up" on some parts of her book.
I think my reader set my mood for the entire day. I was upset that someone thought that of me. Me, who takes in stray pups, feeds the neighborhood kids, has them over to play board games or video games, lends food or money to friends that need it more than me (if I have it to give at the time), I am the first person to write to a friend on line on Facebook and ask them if they are okay if they post something that makes me think they need to talk....I am not a mean person by any stretch...to call me a bitch and tell me that they will never read another word I write, well that hurts and it just set my mood for bad attitude for most of the day.
I am doing my best to not take it out on Ray...he is way to good to me! He puts up with so much from me...no seriously he does...I was told by a relative..."you complain to much about your pain". I was stunned to say the least. So I asked Ray..."Do I whine, moan, and complain to much about being in pain to you"? he said sometimes. I thought "well hell ain't that i fine how do you do"! Here I am with rods and screws in my spine, and a failed spinal fusion, permanent nerve damage in both legs and feet, constantly pain in my lower back, butt, legs, and feet, when my feet get cold it hurts like hell from the nerve damage, I can't walk without crutches because I cannot feel most of my left foot and I complain to much? I felt like I had been kicked in the rods and screws. So since then I have decided to just try not to say anything at all...well that didn't work...because now I have been accused of "faking it". I just cannot win. I asked him this morning..."Don't you get tired of having to help me all the time"? He said "no, never". Made me smile and made my heart hurt a little. He misses the old me, the one that could play and rough house with him, the one that could dance up a two step streak with him. I don't blame him...I miss me too.
I keep wondering if life will ever get any easier for us. God I sure hope so! So God if your up there listening...we could use a little help down here...we need a miracle!
I always watch these shows where the poor guy has someone rich help him out, buys him a new house car, clothes, gives him an awesome job, sets him up for the rest of his life, or the lady who finds a dollar bill and wins a nice lottery and even after paying the taxes on the amount won she has enough to get a complete new makeover and starts her love anew, the guy who adds a paypal donate button to his web site and all of the sudden has twenty thousand hits to his page and people are sending him him 20 dollars a hit or the couple who won the lottery not once, not twice, but three times! Sigh...I just don't have that kind of luck. Please God even if it's a tiny miracle...we need you!
Well that's it for tonight, I'm to tired to fight any more this day, so until next time, see you next time for more coffee & conversation!
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