Saturday, January 21, 2012

Is Sex Love?

Does having sex really mean you love someone? Sex is a physical act, but is it an emotional act? The debate rages on, most men would tell you that yes having sex is showing that you love someone. Most women would argue in the opposite direction.

As a woman I tent to sway on the fermale side of that argument and I will tell you why.

Sex is a physical act. Plain and simple. There is no emotion to having sex. It is an act of pure selfishness and self pleasure.

Ask yourself this question. When you want to have sex...why is that you want to have it? Is it because you want to fulfill yourself emotionally? Or is it because you want to fulfill yourself physically?

Most people both male and female would say because they want to satisfy the physical need.

Some men would argue that God said to them to procreate and that's a built in genetic. The driving need to procreate, which in turn means having sex. Some men are taught to believe that having sex means you love someone. That refusing to have sex with someone means you do not love them.

When a woman has sex and "if" she has the big "O" she will be satisfied and be able to sleep afterwords. Most women don't have the big "O" as often as they need to for the self pleasure release that it gives when it throws out those hormones that tell the brain 'okay I feel better I'm done". Most women will only have 1 out of every 10 times.


Men on the other hand will keep going until they have the "O" then stop and maybe clean up. (I would hope that he would and help her to as well) Once they have reached their "O" most men are done for about 4 to 8 hours. Depending on their age, weight, and health.

Once the male has reached his "O" has she? Most women haven't, and will stay unsatisfied.  So the need for sex diminishes after a while, while more important issues take center stage in her life.

Now lets throw in the age factor. Most men as the get into their late 30's mid 40's go into a midlife "crisis". While women on the other hand start in the early 30's and stop at the early 40's.

By the time most women are into their 40's the nesting and nurturing side of them kicks into high gear. The need to make the home the place to be. They want to settle down and start relaxing. The need to find time for themselves. To be able to relax and pamper themselves as well as their families. The need for sex diminishes.

Men on the other hand have a raging sex drive almost similar to what they experienced in their teens. They feel the need to be more physical more often.

Now lets throw in medical issues. Men who have a medical condition will not feel this urge as strongly as a man with no medical condition. He will feel it and will do his best to satisfy that urge but if pain interferes he will stop all attempts until he feels a little bit better. Then go about satisfying that urge full steam ahead.

Now lets turn those tables and look at the female side of that same issue. When a woman is in any type of pain she will turn down any and all advances until she feels completely healed. No matter how long it takes.

Some women once they hit menopause "if" they start hormonal treatments they may begin to feel the urge to have sex again. Thereby making their husbands very happy.

I don't see how men can say sex is love. Love is an emotion that you feel. It's a strong emotional tug on your heart that makes you feel warm, makes your heart beat faster, makes you feel like "yeah this feels right" or "this feels like home".

So tell me friends....what's your decision on this? Leave me a comment and let me know.



5 comments:

  1. To me, it depends on the overall situation, I can please a woman without taking my pants off, but if I do, I'd prefer to either want a relationship, or at least a FWB type of thing, where we hang out, we screw, and we go home afterward.
    I have seen plenty of both genders confuse sex with love.
    For me, it was the first two years of my adulthood in Europe that helped me form the opinions, and habits that I now have.
    For me, casual sex is pretty much over. I just don't want to take the kind of chances I did 20 years ago.
    I prefer to love someone, and if there's compatibility, then great.
    Either way, like I said, I know what I am doing in bed, so I don't really sweat it.

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  2. I agree...I don't think sex IS love. Love is devotion to your spouse, no matter what. As a "post-menopausal" woman, I honestly don't care if I have sex ever again. I'd rather have a deep conversation while holding hands with my hubby. I'd rather spend quality time just being with my husband. My husband is a diabetic, so certain body parts don't do what they used to do, if you get my drift. This bothers him no end. To him, it's the end of his manhood. In his thinking, he is half the man he used to be. Sad commentary. To me, he is more man than he was. We have better conversations and we hold hands and snuggle more. That to me is love.

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  3. @Anonymous...you sound ALOT, and I mean ALOT like someone I know. Who seems to think that sex is love, that if he doesn't get sex from the person he is with that person does not love him. He also spent his first adult years in Europe, but unfortunately living with a prostitute. Which he saw as no big deal. So now his current wife feels like she has to compete for his effects or with his past lovers. She feels like she is always being compared to, or asked to perform like the prostitute did. She loves him with everything that she is, but he seems to think that she does not every time she is to tired, stressed, or in pain to have sex with him. Her biggest fear is because of her insecurities and her medical issues and his dependencies for feeling the way that he does he will soon find someone on the side to satisfy his "need to have sex". So you see it's all a matter of both sexes coming together and talking it out. Thanks for your opinion.

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  4. I feel bad for women who only have "the O" one out of ten times. They need to have a chat with their partners.

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  5. ok we live in a very happy marriage and we both agree that SEX IS NOT LOVE!!!!! sex is pleasure not love....Love is emotion,feelings for one another...there doesnt need to be sex in a marriage to have love...When you love someone thats all that should matter.Yes there should be some type of sex to make each other feel good...I hope when a man has reached there BIG "O" that they continue some how to help the women reach her BIG "O"...I mean that is only fair right?

    thats my opinion

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